Sam, my partner, received this letter from Tesco's today....
Dear Miss Palmer
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Bury St Edmunds is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your partner stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. April 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. May 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. May 7: Made a trail of tomato sauce on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. May 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. June 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. July 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. July 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. August 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. August 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the anti-depressants were.
10. September 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
11. September 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12. September 8: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. September 11: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. September 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager
_________________
Anyone wishing to take on the role of "Admin" please pm me explaining why you'd like to be considered. It is a sensitive position as you will have access to ALL registered members details.
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